Prepare for Rose Bowl.

A couple of months ago, I took my family to the dentist. Being a good Spartan, the dentist in question has MSU memorabilia up all over the office, including a matted and framed blimp shot of the 1988 Rose Bowl. Exactly as above, but with “MSU” and “USC” in the end zones.

My five-year-old son looked up at the picture and said, “Dad, is that Spartan Stadium?” “No,” I answered, “that is the Rose Bowl.” I blanketed the words with velvet reverence.

“But, it says ‘MSU’!”

“Yes,” I explained, “they paint the end zones for the schools playing the Rose Bowl game that year. You see, the Rose Bowl is a game played between the champion of the Big Ten and the Pac-10 every year, except . . . well, uh, sort of. Mostly. Yes, mostly.”

He asked, “Is that from this year?” I grinned wryly. “Heh, no, that’s a picture from 1988, the last year Michigan State played in the Rose Bowl. I was seven years old then, same as your big sister is now.”

Oh my God.

OH MY GOD.

Since the Spartans last went to the Rose Bowl, I grew up and went to MSU and got married and had a kid and now that kid is as old as I was when the Spartans last went to the Rose Bowl.

I felt no pain at the dentist that day. Nothing could sting quite like the realization that for all the big wins and star players to come out of Michigan State since I became self aware, they’ve spent almost the entire time failing to get anywhere near Pasadena. USC has gone to the Rose Bowl EIGHT TIMES SINCE THEN. Illinois, Purdue, Northwestern and freaking Wazzou have all been to the Grandaddy of Them All more recently than Michigan State.

You know who started the 1988 Rose Bowl for USC? Rodney Peete. Rodney Peete, who finished second in Heisman voting to Barry Sanders, got drafted by the Lions in the 6th round, was immediately installed as the starter (!), and had a sixteen-year career in the NFL which ended seven years ago.

Rodney Peete! Tecmo Super Bowl!

Last year the Spartans won the Big Ten Championship, or whatever passes for it these days. By traditional rules, that would have ended the interminable Rose Bowl drought, but no. Wisconsin, a team they beat soundly during the regular season, had collected more Starbits or something and so Michigan State had to go the Capital One Bowl and suffer a loss so spectacular that the clothing line bearing the #BEATEMDOWN hashtag it spawned still sells like hotcakes.

The Rose Bowl was first played in 1901, nine months before the inauguration of Theodore Roosevelt. It’s been played 97 times since then, twenty times more than any other bowl. It is the bowl game that is the reason bowl games are called ‘bowl games.’ But these are Modern Times and so in order for the best team from the Big Ten to go to the Rose Bowl as has been done since my Grandfather was like negative thirty, Michigan State must beat a team it already beat this year in a big fake money grab perpetrated by profiteering gasbags who miss no opportunity to ‘brand’ themselves with tradition they stomp all over while selling out to the highest bidder, or really any available bidder.

So be it.

Wisconsin, I’m sorry. You guys have a real cool program and a real good team and I dig that thing you do when you all jump around until your stadium exhibits signs of imminent structural failure. But this is bigger than you. It’s a mission, a duty, a crusade to win back the prestige and heritage of Biggie and Duffy and every All-American who’s worn the only colors. The Spartans have won 21 games in two seasons and we aren’t going to the Capital One, Outback, or heaven-help-us Alamo Bowl again. This game means nothing to you, and it means everything to us.

Spartans, #P4RB.