Has The Curse of Brad Nortman Begun?

It ended for MSU in the most gut-wrenching fashion imaginable. Isaiah Lewis runs into Brad Nortman and Wisconsin kneels it's way into the Rose Bowl for the second year in a row. By beating MSU for the first time in three attempts it's secures it's second Rose Bowl berth in as many years.

Nortman admits later that he put a little extra flop into it “When I felt the contact after the guy ran into me, you’re taught as a punter to go down,” Nortman said. “There was certainly contact. I went to the ground after that. The right call was made.”

Being a sports fan requires an amount of superstition not typically present of normal average human beings. As a sports fan you believe your lucky jersey/socks/underwear/beer/whatever allows a group of athletes you do not know to win their sporting event from thousands of miles away. So is it really so far fetched to think that maybe, just maybe Nortman's flop began a curse on UW athletics?

Since Nortman's flop, UW basketball has knocked off it's fair share of cupcakes as well as beating Nebraska in Big Ten play. Since then, it has lost to Iowa and Michigan State in gut-wrenching fashion at the Kohl's Center. Wisconsin Women's Basketball has won just one game on 12/5. Wisconsin hockey hasn't won a non-exhibition game.




Have I mentioned Wisconsin is 0-1 since the Flop?

As MSU fans who remember the Bo Ryan the Devil teaching his players to flop at the slightest breeze, we shouldn't be surprised by Nortman's flopping. You might even say the Wisconsin Athletic Department Motto is "Those Who Flop Will Be Champions." But when that flop, the oh so greatest of flops occurred in Indy a month ago today, did the devil decide to cash in?

Prepare for Rose Bowl.

A couple of months ago, I took my family to the dentist. Being a good Spartan, the dentist in question has MSU memorabilia up all over the office, including a matted and framed blimp shot of the 1988 Rose Bowl. Exactly as above, but with “MSU” and “USC” in the end zones.

My five-year-old son looked up at the picture and said, “Dad, is that Spartan Stadium?” “No,” I answered, “that is the Rose Bowl.” I blanketed the words with velvet reverence.

“But, it says ‘MSU’!”

“Yes,” I explained, “they paint the end zones for the schools playing the Rose Bowl game that year. You see, the Rose Bowl is a game played between the champion of the Big Ten and the Pac-10 every year, except . . . well, uh, sort of. Mostly. Yes, mostly.”

He asked, “Is that from this year?” I grinned wryly. “Heh, no, that’s a picture from 1988, the last year Michigan State played in the Rose Bowl. I was seven years old then, same as your big sister is now.”

Oh my God.

OH MY GOD.

Since the Spartans last went to the Rose Bowl, I grew up and went to MSU and got married and had a kid and now that kid is as old as I was when the Spartans last went to the Rose Bowl.

I felt no pain at the dentist that day. Nothing could sting quite like the realization that for all the big wins and star players to come out of Michigan State since I became self aware, they’ve spent almost the entire time failing to get anywhere near Pasadena. USC has gone to the Rose Bowl EIGHT TIMES SINCE THEN. Illinois, Purdue, Northwestern and freaking Wazzou have all been to the Grandaddy of Them All more recently than Michigan State.

You know who started the 1988 Rose Bowl for USC? Rodney Peete. Rodney Peete, who finished second in Heisman voting to Barry Sanders, got drafted by the Lions in the 6th round, was immediately installed as the starter (!), and had a sixteen-year career in the NFL which ended seven years ago.

Rodney Peete! Tecmo Super Bowl!

Last year the Spartans won the Big Ten Championship, or whatever passes for it these days. By traditional rules, that would have ended the interminable Rose Bowl drought, but no. Wisconsin, a team they beat soundly during the regular season, had collected more Starbits or something and so Michigan State had to go the Capital One Bowl and suffer a loss so spectacular that the clothing line bearing the #BEATEMDOWN hashtag it spawned still sells like hotcakes.

The Rose Bowl was first played in 1901, nine months before the inauguration of Theodore Roosevelt. It’s been played 97 times since then, twenty times more than any other bowl. It is the bowl game that is the reason bowl games are called ‘bowl games.’ But these are Modern Times and so in order for the best team from the Big Ten to go to the Rose Bowl as has been done since my Grandfather was like negative thirty, Michigan State must beat a team it already beat this year in a big fake money grab perpetrated by profiteering gasbags who miss no opportunity to ‘brand’ themselves with tradition they stomp all over while selling out to the highest bidder, or really any available bidder.

So be it.

Wisconsin, I’m sorry. You guys have a real cool program and a real good team and I dig that thing you do when you all jump around until your stadium exhibits signs of imminent structural failure. But this is bigger than you. It’s a mission, a duty, a crusade to win back the prestige and heritage of Biggie and Duffy and every All-American who’s worn the only colors. The Spartans have won 21 games in two seasons and we aren’t going to the Capital One, Outback, or heaven-help-us Alamo Bowl again. This game means nothing to you, and it means everything to us.

Spartans, #P4RB.

Wisconsin Recap

So, Saturday afternoon, I caught The Death. It had started creeping in on Friday morning but Saturday afternoon it was on like Donkey Kong. I couldn't make it through a conversation without a cough drop, something hot to drink (which ruled out most of what you do drink at a tailgate) or just coughing for about 25 seconds. I mentally entertained skipping the game and it would have been my first scratch unrelated to a wedding in eight years. In the end though, wisdom prevailed, pain is temporary, pride is forever and all that other nonsense. Armed with two rolls of cough drops and drinking four hot chocolates throughout I watched one of the best games I have ever seen at Spartan Stadium.

See for as damned uncomfortable as I was physically on Saturday night this isn't about me or really the other 75,000 fans in Spartan Stadium. This night was about the Michigan State Football team. A team picked to win this game by no one except a handful of local media. A team who was minus one of their best players in Will Gholston and whose Defensive Coordinator was given one of the most wristslappy rebukes I have ever seen on Friday afternoon. An offense whose problems have been maligned even on this very blog laying out the mighty Badgers for 37 points. A fifth year walk-on (Elsworth is apparently a sophomore) making not one but two critical plays to win the game for the Spartans. Kirk Cousins going out and putting up 22/31 for 3 TD's and no picks against the nation's fourth ranked pass defense. And....



Keith Nichol's day in the sun. Holy crap if this kid hasn't earned it. He could have chosen not to come back after spurning MSU for the Sooners. But he did. He could have left after losing out the starting job to Kirk Cousins in 2009, but he didn't. He could have tried to beat out Cousins for the gig in 2010, but he didn't, he chose instead to be a Wide Receiver because he thought it's where he could best help the team. With that touchdown grab, Keith Nichol has 202 yards and 1 Touchdown on the season, hardly stultifying numbers, but way to make your one count. Congratulations sir.

As a result, I think our team would have kicked Badger ass with or without us on Saturday night, but I'm happy I was invited to spectate.

---

Other Observations:

- Keshawn Martin the Wide Receiver appears to be back to form. I thought his receiving struggles were related to the lack of a legitimate 2 receiver and him being asked to play outside of his typical slot role, but some switch flipped for him in the past couple games. Keshawn Martin the Punt Returner still looks a skosh iffy to me.

- Congratulations to Kyler Elsworth. A HUGE 3rd down stop in the second quarter to force the Badgers to kick a field goal that was subsequently blocked. Speaking of blocking, did you know he blocked that punt that was then returned for a touchdown. Congrats Mr. Elsworth.

- The Wisconsin playaction is breathtaking and their run game is always enough of a threat that you cannot write off the run on playaction. There were several times in this game that the run was sold so well I had no idea that it was a pass until the ball was in the air. Our defense was outstanding on Saturday despite giving up 31 points.

- 1. The number of interceptions Russell Wilson had this season coming into the MSU game. 2. The number of interceptions he had during the game. Our defense managed to do twice what one other team had done once all season. Pick off another September Heisman candidate.

- Missing Will Gholston in my opinion almost cost us this game. Not really in quarters 1,2 or 3. Specifically in Quarter four when Wisconsin was completing passes because they had ALL DAY to throw. That's where Will would have made the difference helping get to Wilson just a half second sooner would have made that game less interesting in my opinion. Glad we'll have him back for the remainder of the season.

- Did Bielema Choke this game away? Mostly no. The timeout he called on 2nd and 20 was a good decision. The one he called on 3rd and 8 was not. State would have had to call a timeout in that situation anyway which means we have one less for the Rocket play. Hindsight's 20-20 of course, but there was just too much field to defend for him to think he was really going to pull that off on 3rd and 8.

Anyway, great win, program win maybe even? Great game to watch and might be the set up for a huge rivalry going forward.

Rant: Bret Bielema

The following is a rant directed at Bret Bielema. I loathe him completely and totally for reasons even I don't understand. The below may contain swearing that might make a sailor blush. If you're sensitive to that sort of thing, do not read the below post.

Side note, I actually wrote this during Michigan week while I was killing time, so some of the things are future tense. What is not however is that Bielema is a choker.

Here's a BieLOLema while you think it over.



Thank you Black Heart Gold Pants love your blog, hate your coach.

You're still here? Good. Let's begin.

After Ty's remarkable missive on Juggalos and Walverines last week, it seems only fitting that we play Wisconsin this week. At Wisconsin, even the marching band are a bunch of meatheads. Who has a marching band get suspended for a game? Wisconsin, that's who. Who has a fan base that harasses Tom Osborne and his merry band of nonagenarians? Wisconsin, that's who. Who has a tradition of taking some of America's Whitest Kids and having them dance to one of the top hip-hop songs of the 90s?



Wisconsin, That's Who.

So it should come as no surprise to you that in 2005 when it came time to look for his replacement, Barry Alvarez was no fool. He wanted a known quantity, a populist hero, a meathead he could rely on and Bret Bielema was the perfect man for the job.



First off, look at the guy. He looks like a fat gym teacher who hangs out at an old folks home looking for a date. He looks stupid. He's also a reggae guy, I remember an interview with a recruit that talked about him groovin' on Marley to impress a recruit and thinking "What a doosh.", but in fact:

MADISON, Wis. — Sitting in his cavernous office that overlooks Camp Randall Stadium, island reggae music growling on a stereo system, Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema laughs and recalls an assistant's first trip to a local supermarket.



The Truth Hurts Sometimes

Second, the windbreaker. He wears that stupid damned windbreaker around like it's going to get him enshrined at the College Football Hall of Fame. "Here is the bronzed windbreaker of Bret Cornelius Bielema, he wore this windbreaker whilst dispatching UNLV in 112 degree weather 73-20, flew home and won a Deep Fried Cheese Curd eating contest while doing a keg stand." I understand the need to brand yourself as a coach these days. Spurrier with his fabulous visor, Sweatervest, Pete Carroll with sunglasses and cheating. I guess in fairness Windbreaker might have been the only cold weather item left, but you could brand yourself by winning.

Oh wait, he has branded himself by winning. Like an asshole. Bret Bielema hung 70 on Austin Peay and 83 on Indiana in 2010. Wisconsin basketball only scored 83 three times last year. Sure you can say, it's not Bret Bielema's job to keep Wisconsin out of the opponent's endzone. You are entitled to that opinion, just like I am entitled to the opinion Bielema is a dickbag. I have to imagine last year when he lost to TCU in the Rose Bowl, people were like "Bret, you failed to run enough when you had success with Montee Ball early on? What happened?" He was like: "Hurr, I am a banana. Scoring 70 on Austin Peay helped us get here but NOT scoring 91 is probably what kept us from knowing how to finish. I need some beer."

Finally, if you're going to go to the Rose Bowl instead of us, despite us beating you head-to-head. Run the damned ball when you're having success on a defensive line 60 lbs smaller than yours. When your backs are averaging 5.8 per carry, run the damn ball. This is the most important piece of all as to why I hate Bret Bielema, he can't close. In 2008, the clock was winding down in East Lansing, we had to hurricane kick with :02 seconds left to go, and he called a timeout to "ice the kicker". Swenson made the field goal and Spartans win. The guy can't close, because he's slow. A point further proved in 2011 East Lansing.

So there you have it, meathead of the people, branding himself for what purpose no one is really sure, no cupcake left behind and not a good coach in crunch time. I loathe Bret Bielema for all of these reasons and probably some more, but most of all despite all of these things he has the most successful team in the Big Ten the past 5 years. The luckiest doosh in the big ten. See you in Indy for the Big Ten Title Game.