Showing posts with label Conference Expansion Directed By Unicron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conference Expansion Directed By Unicron. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Conference Reshufflin' is as American as Apple Pie

When Conference USA and Mountain West announced their intent to merge on Monday, they made a promise of mediocrity to America in the way that only Conference USA and the Mountain West can.
The structure of the new conference, Smatresk and Cowen's statement said, will have a "national scope from the Atlantic Seaboard to Hawaii, regular season scheduling in divisions, NCAA FBS affiliation and mechanisms to emphasize and improve academic standards and fiscal responsibility."
I think could be more accurately phrased as:
So we were worried our terrible football conferences would die to death of mediocrity. With Boise State, TCU and BYU all leaving for greener pastures the chance of having a national presence in the sphere of mediocrity was diminishing. We felt it was necessary to merge in order to continue the fine tradition of nationally pedestrian football.
Between the two conferences they return seven teams next season with winning records. If you take them and another three teams, you might MAYBE have a decent football conference. What they're choosing to do is to take all of the good teams and all of the bad, 'til death or more dollars do you part. Instead, it'll be like a fine layer of crap smeared too thin all over the United States and Hawaii. Only Alaska is spared from this mess and have you seen When Mooses Attack? I'd rather deal with boring football.

Yet, while the quality of the game might not ever exceed Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, they've stumbled on an idea that might be very interesting in execution.
The new conference will consist of 18 to 24 members and start in the 2013-14 academic year. It would not only have a conference championship football game, but also conference semifinals. Conference USA and the Mountain West would continue as is for the 2012-13 season.
This new conference, the USA Confest we can call it for now, has decided it's place in the pecking order and it's not with the BCS big kids. So they're going to go off and secede and start their own system that has a "Plus-One" playoff right inside their own conference. Could the plan be to try and create a system for the non-BCS kids that creates a four or eight team playoff system independent of the BCS? That's so damn AMERICAN it just might work.

One thing is certain. With Delany talking playoffs and the USA Confest talking conference playoffs, the days of a playoff free college football landscape are drawing to a close. The risk-averse computer programmer in me worries that the new landscape will be too devoid of anything resembling a rivalry game. That every game will become a Michigan State vs. generic-team-to-be-named-later-with-a-varying-level-of-goodness. But the person in me who watched Boise State vs Oklahoma a few years ago is hopeful that this change will be good.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Big East: Ted Kaczynski's Favorite Football Conference

So the news broke earlier today that the Big East will be adding the following schools to their conference, San Diego State, Boise State, Houston, Southern Methodist University and Central Florida. 2011 has been the year of WTF in the College Football world. From Sandusky to the BCS Title Rematch to Conference Realignment to this:

This is what the Big East thinks of you The Fan.

This move by the Big East is so ridiculous to me because it's so nonsensical and unnecessary. The new boundaries of the Big East ladies and gentlemen.

Kind of looks like the Budweiser logo.
Who could ever forget that thrilling overtime game between Boise State and Louisville. The real rivalry shared by UCF and SDSU? By my approximation this puts the center of the Big East a little east of Tulsa. So congratulations Talequah, Oklahoma, you're the home of the BRAND NEW BIG EAST TITLE GAME!

Self-dubbed the "City Of Firsts" Talequah would be the perfect home for the new Big East Title Game. The weather on December 6th, 2011 is a balmy 32 degrees, well suited from getting away from the 68 and sunny of San Diego in early December. As the home of Northeastern State University Hawks 7-5 Football team, we know a thing or two about mediocre football! Come and shop at Talequah's cozy downtown shopping district.

Felt's Family Shoes, proud sponsor of the Big East Title Game since 2011

Tahlequah has the distinction of being the capital of both the Cherokee Nation and the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians, according to wikipedia. Which is actually kind of cool. 

Big East football is old Uncle Ted's (not that Uncle Ted) favorite kind of football. It's going to survive, even if it means consuming things that no right-minded human should honestly consider. I'm looking at you Central Florida. It's a little crazy, maybe not quite right-minded. But it will survive, oh will it survive. It will fence off 2/3rds of the United States and pick a tiny little town in America as the home of it's title game. It's not above sending the occasional letterbomb to someone who's hurt it in the past. (I mean 27 million dollars to leave. Does the Big East even net 27 million in a season?) And if that let's the Big East give the finger to fans who enjoy College Football, so much the better.




Bonus Links


What is Your Profession has a little recruiting scuttle to run down.
- There are three new Spartan Blogs in town. Welcome to The Little Brother BlogBeat ChUMps and Spartan Problems. A lot of Michigan hate, not enough Michigan State in the titles of those blogs. But welcome anyway.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Game Preview: CMU

So in case you haven't yet heard, the sky is falling. Maybe it has even fallen. Maybe this is the beginning of hell on earth with the the cold approaching and the stock market in shambles and an offensive line made out of all of the dudes in East Lansing that are taller than 6'4" and more than 300 lbs. If in spite of all that you feel the need to carry on this blog post is for you.

OR

Perhaps you saw us make some mistakes in South Bend last week which assisted in creating a pretty lop-sided score of 31-13. Further the Irish front seven is the biggest we'll play this whole season, which made them perfectly suited to captialize on our decimated Offensive Line. Perhaps you still see 9-3 or 8-4 as a possibility for this year. If so this blog post is for you.

The bad part for me is that these people both live inside my head regarding Spartan Football and that's what makes games like this one Saturday kind of frightening to me. Michigan State's season is far from over, but it sure felt that way for a bit on Saturday. The Chips flatly frighten me a bit, they've won three out of seven in our series thus far. Our protected rival Indiana has a worse winning percentage against us than Central by ALMOST 20 PERCENT. So despite the fact that Central is a bit down in the mouth this year, if you sleep on Central, they will kill you.




Central Passing Defense vs MSU Passing Offense

As with anything offense-related, until further notice this is dependent on the Offensive Line. This will be a good time for our Offensive Line to spend sometime trying to gel its reincarnation into something purposeful and passable. The Offensive Line will be featuring two new starters, Travis Jackson, who impressed strongly in the offseason and Fou Fonoti who first set foot on campus in July. We're currently an injury away from calling TJ Duckett and asking him to come back and play Offensive Line for us.

Alex Carder, the greatest quarterback in the history of Michigan-based football took Central to the woodshed last week putting up 355 yards and 3 Touchdowns. Cousins will not have this kind of a day passing on CMU because we are not looking to wax our rivals like Western was AND Dantonio has stated that he is committed to establishing the run, which of course means not teeing off on Central for 355 yards and 3 TDs.

Provided we don't have more Offensive Line injury and/or magnificent Offensive Line failure expect to see Cousins go like 17 of 22 for 200 and a TD.

Advantage: MSU(but not by a lot).

Central Rushing Defense vs MSU Rushing Offense

Now all that said, I'm less concerned about our Offensive Line in this arena. McDonald and Foreman have proven themselves to be good pulling guards and effective against the run. Todd Anderson is mean, I'm pretty sure he's like the bunny who ate broken glass. These individuals can help bolster running to one side or the other of the field. Oh yeah, our tailbacks are none too shabby either.

I expect to see MSU go back to running like Spartan Stadium's on fire to re-establish it's offensive identity. Given the decided weight advantage on our side of the line and the fact that Le'Veon Bell is bigger than every single linebacker wearing a Central Michigan uniform, I expect us to rack up lots of rushing yards and touchdowns.

Advantage: MSU(by quite a bit)

CMU Passing Offense vs MSU Passing Defense

MSU is currently ranked 15th in Total Passing Efficiency Defense and CMU is ranked 62nd in Passing Offense. Although these numbers are unnaturally low since FAU didn't even generate 50 yards of offense in the 44-0 pasting of two very long weeks ago. Yesterday, Mike from The Chip Report indicated that Radcliff has had trouble with his reads and is not getting the ball downfield well.

For as unhealthy as our offense has been the defense has been thus far quite lucky in their injuries. Look for MSU to play their usual bend, don't break defense against Central. Give up yardage between the 20s, but not a lot of points. Unless Central comes out and gets the jump on us, expect Radcliff to be playing from behind most of the game, that means risky throws and interceptions. Need evidence? Watch the Notre Dame game from six days ago.

Advantage: MSU

CMU Rushing Offense vs MSU Rushing Defense

Tim Phillips will be replacing Zurlon Tipton. At 5'5" and 162 lbs, I think the biggest problem for MSU's defense will be seeing Phillips. I remember a few years ago when Jerry Seymour ran all over MSU because he was little and MSU had problems with that. That was a much crappier defense coached by Cowboys and vicious facepalms.

Our run Defense is pretty stout and just held two very talened running backs to a reasonable amount of yardage in a game Notre Dame was trying to salt away. This should be a good opportunity for MSU's linebackers to get an opportunity playing a scatback that can move.

Advantage: MSU

Intangibles

What do you say about a MAC team that has come in and cleaned your clock three times in your house. God likes them or at least prefers them to you when forced to pick. Or Satan...?

Advantage: CMU




5 Burning Questions

We're taking the five key things series started last week and weaving it in with the Devil's Advocate series we did last year. Co-Authoring this segment will be my partner in crime Ty from the Lions in Winter. Check out his blogified Ndamukong madness here.

5 Burning Questions

1.) How does MSU set to work gelling it's O-Line this upcoming week against Central?

Last week I neglected this question in our five burning questions because I was honestly sick of talking about it. That said, it's definitely news this week as our Offensive Line continues to get thinner. New starters Fou Fonoti and Travis Jackson figure to see plenty of playing time and will be in for as many reps as possible before the tipping point of injury to positive reps swings towards injury. If we struggle to move the ball, expect to see this group in the whole game.

At this point, the only way the offensive line will gel is with the addition of Xanthan Gum, a biopolymer used as a thickening agent in salad dressings and avant-garde molecular gastronomy. Whether the O-line plays like the motley crew of ragtag backup position-switchers they are or the 1998 Denver Broncos, I would want the starters to go the distance. At this point, will another injury make much difference? The Spartans need as much cohesion as they can muster heading into Columbus.

2.) How does Dan Roushar improve for his questionable playcalling in the Notre Dame game and re-establish the MSU offensive identity this week while preparing for Ohio State?

Pound, Green, Pound. The last game Michigan State lost when outrushing it's opponent was against Minnesota in 2009. That is Dantonio's offensive philosophy, keep CHIPping the rock. See what I did there?!? Like it or not, this is how our team plays football, we run to set up the pass. Expect lots of running for exactly that purpose.

I am aghast at the deftness of your pun, and the degree to which we agree. The Spartans have to assert their dominance at the point of attack, and reestablish Baker and Bell as forces to be reckoned with.


3.) Dion Sims moved from being a backup to an OR in this week's depth chart. Is this the beginning of the Dion Sims era?

I think so. Sims is not the strongest pass blocker, otherwise at 6'5" and 280 he might be one of the dudes sliding over to a tackle spot. Sims has absolutely freakish ability. At the beginning of his recruitment he was listed as a WR and has just continued to gain weight while retaining most of his speed. He is a redshirt sophmore after sitting out last year due to some legal issues. While he is not a member of the "Glenn Winston League of Extraordinary Dumbasses" he committed a crime and was punished for it. Until his passblocking improves, do not expect him to be an every down TE but expect to see plenty of him this weekend.

This is exactly the situation you want to deploy Sims in. Against an opponent who won’t kill you with the blitz, who doesn’t have anyone who can hope to match up with Sims physically, you get all the upside of sending him out there to catch passes without all the downside of exposing Captain Kirk to the Klingon hordes.

4.) If Spartan Stadium isn't Dan Enos's Little Big Horn, it's a trailhead en route. If Enos gets the ziggy at any point before 2012 spring ball, do the Spartans bring him back to solidify their offensive coaching staff—and redouble Detroit PSL recruiting efforts?

This seems unlikely to me. I don't see Dantonio kicking out any of the members of our current offensive staff and I don't think any are on the hot track out of here, with apologies to Staten maybe. It seems unlikely that he'd take over on the defensive side of the ball. So it's not that we don't want him, it's that I don't know if we have room for him.

Secondly, this would not be Enos' first time trying to rejoin Dantonio after a failed attempt to move on to bigger and better things. Enos was the running back's coach here in 2006 in the final year of John L Smith, after leaving Dantonio in Cincinnati. He was the only member of staff retained when Dantonio came in late 2006. While he was fantastic at recruiting the PSL, I don't know if you bump a current staff member to make room for someone who's left you, twice.

Sometimes, things make too much sense not to happen. Dan Enos starts taking a lot of heat the same week Dan Roushar does, and I have a hard time not connecting the dots. Obviously, last week would have to be the beginning of a strongly negative trend for Roushar to be axed, and I hope and pray that doesn’t happen. But, if it does, I think the Spartans miss Enos more than they expected—and if he’s free and they have an opening, why not? I’d just hope he wouldn’t become our very own Mike DeBord.

5.) How likely is it that we see a repeat of 2009?

Unlikely. CMU is down this year and so is MSU a bit. We lost the 2009 game because LeFevour was an excellent QB, Antonio Brown is playing for the Steelers now and their running back was pretty darn good too. Additionally, Cousins and Nichol were platooning in at QB and it kept MSU's offense from establishing a rhythm. We couldn't put them away, they converted an onside kick AND then got two tries to make a 47 and then a 42 yarder. There were several moments that CMU had to convert perfectly and they did and won. They would need that game and more this year and I don't think they have it in them.

I have pinned that loss on the Spartans trying to defend Butch Jones’s ‘Diet Spread n’Shred’ with the a base 4-3. I theorized at the time that Narduzzi didn’t want to show his RichRod-stopping cards. The Spartans let CMU have six yards whenever they wanted it, and they paid for it in the end. Even with all that, AND the silly Quarterback by Committee, it STILL took that crazy chain of events. I can’t see Dantonio risking a slide to 2-2 this time around.

Jim's Prediction:MSU 28 CMU 10

Ty’s Prediction: MSU 33 CMU 17 (one of the MSU scores is defensive. Don’t ask why)

Monday, September 19, 2011

Conference Realignment: FAIL

I know we just lost our Right Tackle for the year, but I already wrote about the circumstances that led directly to us losing our only highly rated tackle in the rotation in this article. Our best wishes for the recovery of Skyler Burkland and you can read more about it and get some blogpolling over at the Only Colors. Plus conference realignment really for some reason brings out my inner idealist.

I've started this post a few times. First, I've written about my feelings on conference realignment twice and so I don't want to rehash things I've already written.

Second, I think it was Stewart Mandel wrote this morning: Bloggers are acting like superconferences would cause the earth to spin off it's axis and that's not true. I agree with that statement. I love college football, there is nothing else like it. Whether or not we're in a division with Texas Tech will probably have no impact on whether I want to watch College Football or not, just the likelihood that I'll go to away game.

Third, I haven't yet gotten around to reading the article in the Atlantic. Mostly because with an article titled "The Shame of College Sports" that sounds like reading an article I'd feel a bit unclean after reading. Or uncleaner in the King's English. I believe that the stated goal of the NCAA in producing athlete-students is not congruent with their current business or academic processes. The excuse for College Football Playoffs being off the table has much less to do with the academics of the students and a lot more to do with leaving all that bowl money on the table.

So instead I'm going to take a different angle and talk about the irony of the Big Ten's role in this whole thing. I know that this set of events has been in motion for a long time, probably since the BCS came to be, probably even longer ago than that. When dinosaurs roamed the earth as it were. But for me, this all started in 2007 with the launch of the Big Ten Network. Sure, prior to that the ACC stole Miami, Va Tech and Boston College from the Big East and sure there were Conference Title games, but none of that impacted the number of conferences, only the arrangement of such.

Then in 2007 Jim Delaney launched the Big Ten Network. This was the money grab that set the others in motion. The Big Ten Network, ESECPN,the Pac-12 network and finally and most grossly the Longhorn Network. Now, the logical extension of those money grabs is to expand the conferences.

How the expansion and realignment works out, we can't know or at least everything is kind of in flux. At the time of this writing both OU and UT are behind closed doors to discuss. With the defections of Pitt and the Cuse to the ACC and the implosion of the Big 12 a forgone conclusion, it stands to reason that the Big East and Big 12 will cease to be. (Think Monty Python if you aren't already.)

So here's where this gets fascinating to me, has Jim Delaney accidently set the ball in motion to shoot himself in the foot?


For starters, which colleges could Jim Delaney invite that are already BCS schools that are in or near the borders of the already existing Big Ten?

Notre Dame and Pitt.

Which colleges border the Big Ten that we could bring in that are already BCS schools?

Kansas, Kansas State, Kentucky, Maryland, Missouri, Rutgers, Syracuse, West Virginny.

We can throw out the following schools for certain because they are all members of the future ACC. The ACC locked down their schools by bumping the buyout from 10 to 20 million dollars this weekend. That renders the following schools as non-factors: Maryland, Pitt and Syracuse.

Kentucky is part of the SEC. So no. Unless Mike Slive wanted A&M so he could give Kentucky or Vandy the boot. Which, wait a second, is just slimy enough it might work. But again, there have been no rumors or interest or anything. That's just me openly saying that if it were a Bond Villian's plan, it just might work.

So who does that leave? The remnants of the exploded and dead Big 12 and Big East. Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, Rutgers, West Virginny and Notre Dame. It goes without saying that I want Notre Dame whether it's 14 or 16 teams(again, if we must expand), the other caveat is that they have to share revenue equally. I'd rather not expand than give Notre Dame a bigger share.

Who else looks good with Notre Dame? Notre Dame and Missouri, eh, I could get behind that. Notre Dame and Rutgers? Meh. Any other pairing that doesn't include Notre Dame? Missouri and West Virginny. Too much Deliverance. Kansas and Kansas State. All we are is dust in the wind? I just don't see a pairing that works.

So it stands, Jim Delany might have shot himself in the foot. If the Big 10 decides to go to 14 or 16 teams he's backed himself into a corner where he HAS to bring in Notre Dame for it to all work. Otherwise, we're a 12 team conference in a superconference world.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Conference Expansion: Mexican Standoff Format

Last week I recanted a conversation with an old boss about why Notre Dame should join the Big Ten. You may have read that article and presumed that I do indeed look forward to a day where the Big Ten has 14 or 16 teams and one of them being Notre Dame. You would be wrong. I wrote it more as a Plan B point, if 16 be the number and the number being neither 15 nor 17, I'd demand that Notre Dame be included to give the 16 team "super conference" some legitimacy.

Plan A is that we do not expand and really neither does anyone else. Yesterday, Mike Slive commissioner of the SEC said: "We remain optimistic that Texas A&M will be a member of the SEC and have started to look at schedules for 2012-13 involving 13 teams'. " He then went on to say that the SEC has no immediate plans to go beyond 13 teams, but that it's "impossible" to never say never. Also, this just in, Mike Slive is a liar. They might stop at 14, but I'm pretty sure that Slive's limit on Schnitzengruben is higher than 13.

I think within the next week, we'll see this decided one way or the other. Currently, Oklahoma is in the catbird's seat for a couple reasons. 1.) Baylor has offered to rescind their lawsuit against A&M should Oklahoma agree to stay in the Big 12 er, 10, er 9. This would ensure A&M's exit. 2.) Oklahoma could leave for the Pac 10, er, 12, er 14 with Oklahoma State and then the Big 12 disintegrates overnight. Oklahoma will want to get this settled because in a week, somehow they may end up out of the catbird's seat, so better to decide on their terms than wait and have to decide on someone else's.

I find it interesting that the conference that cannot hold itself together is going to be the group that decides College Football's potentially dystopian future. I've joked with my college roommate for years that the Big 12 was a farce, there's Tejas, Oklahoma and previously Nebraska then 9 nobodies. It's only become apparent in the last couple years how that was truth posing as farce.

There's really no question that there are some corollaries to pre World War I Europe here. Everyone's in bed with everyone else and everyone is so twitchy that there's going to be a problem that there is a problem because everyone is so twitchy. Could these mega conferences be avoided? Sure. Will they be? Probably not. There's too much money on the table for some of the schools involved.

Is Jim Delaney, the Big Ten commissioner responsible for starting all this mess by creating the Velveeta and Rotel network, padding everyone's pockets by 10-20 mill a year and encouraging other conferences to do the same? Well. That's a question for another day.

For now, we play Notre Dame Saturday. The rest of the week will be more of a rivalry week focus. We hate the Dame, do we not?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This Isn't Football It's a GD Arms Race

While in college and briefly after, I worked at a Domino's Pizza as a driver/assistant manager. It amuses me to no end these days that I was VERY marginally under Dave Brandon's employ for about 2 years of my life. At any rate, the local shop was owned by a guy we used to call Teammates. He earned this name because he would constantly say things like "Who's got that phone, team?!?" or "Alright Teammates, let's sell some breadsticks!". He was a huge Notre Dame fan and stuck to his guns about how Notre Dame was a wild horse that would never be tamed into joining the Big Ten. Still, ever the small businessman, he'd never let something like independence stand in the way of making a buck. The following is how I suspect a conversation between me and him about conference realignment would work.

Me: So did you hear that Texas A&M is set to join the SEC?

Teammates: No, but that is excellent work, teammate! With the SEC at 13 teams they will jump to at least 14 teams and maybe even 16!

Me: So how would you feel about a Big Ten with Notre Dame in it?

Teammates: Oh, that would be TERRIBLE and it will never happen, Charlie Weis wouldn't allow it.

Me: *raises eyebrow* I don't think Charlie Weis gets to make that... nevermind. Well see the thing is that if Notre Dame doesn't join now they do run the risk of being frozen out for good this time. They aren't exactly mowing down the top 10 teams of the country and having their fifth string center make the All-American team anymore. If the Big Ten, SEC, Pac-10 and ACC go to 16 teams and the Dame gets frozen out it could get even harder for ND to make a BCS game.

Teammates: Why did Texas A&M leave the Big 12? Wouldn't it have been easier if they had just stayed in the Big 12?

Me: Well, ESPN in a move that isn't even sort of a conflict of interest paid Texas 300 million dollars over 15 years to start the Longwhorn network. But that functionally kills any interest in a Big 12 network(Editors Note: Was there any to begin with?) So A&M decided to head where the money was better and no one takes their footb...

Teammates: WHO'S GOT THAT PHONE TEAM!

Me: No one takes their football more seriously than the SEC is what I was going to say.

Teammates: So A&M went after more money for their family! That's a great thing! Upsell those breadsticks! Nothing but profit!

Me: The last re-alignment was this spring with Nebraska joining the Big 10 and Colorado and Utah to the Pac-10. The Colorado thing made sense since I always thought they were in the Pac 10 anyway, Utah was a reach IMO. Nebraska was a good compromise for the Big 10, it's not going full-bore to 16 teams and added a quality opponent in football and every sport but basketball. Ownership of a basketball is illegal and punishable by death in Nebraska.

Teammates: Do NOT give anyone the Wednesday Special! Give them the F6 Special, that's full price for everything, tell them you're giving them the F6 Special and they will think they're getting a deal!!!!! hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Me: For Big Ten expansion to make sense as a fan, they absolutely have to bring in Notre Dame. ND already plays 3 Big Ten teams this year and typically plays 3-4 Big Ten teams. You guys should get in now, the one undeniably good thing about 4 16 team super conferences is that those teams will play a minimum of 9 conference games, I could even see it getting bumped to 10. No one is going to want to play an independent ND when/if it means losing a valuable tune-up game.

Teammates: But they have a TV contract! That would mean the loss of many millions of dollars. Where's the incentive? Where's the profit?

Me: The Notre Dame TV contract for football is worth about 9 million dollars a year. The TV share for being a Big Ten school is approximately 22 million a year. The obvious exclusion being that if ND makes a BCS game they get to keep all 17 million bucks instead of splitting it amongst the conference members. That's happened 3 times since the BCS started in 98-99. That works out to 51 million over 13 seasons or 3.9 mill a year. If football is averaging bringing in 12.9 Mill a year I don't think that ND basketball and other various sports are bringing in 9 million bucks a year, so we can offer you more money!

Teammates: MOAR MONEY! I LOVE MOAR MONEY! MONEY MAKES MY HEART SING IN A WAY THAT ONLY PROZAC AND BLOW CAN! What else are you asking for?

Me: Well obviously you'd have to join the Big Ten and we're gonna have to invite some other teams, one more at least, probably three so we have two divisions of eight. Missouri is a likely candidate, they tried to get into the Big Ten a few months ago during conference re-alignment, we might ask Oklahoma, but they aren't a part of the American Association of Universities. Nebraska was but couldn't hold it's corn liquor. Rutgers and Pitt are two other schools that fit the bill academically and are decent enough football schools, although Greg Schiano, how do you feel now about deciding to be the lifetime HC of Rutgers after that 11-1 season?

Teammates:That's a lot more schools and a lot more competition! What if people find out Notre Dame isn't an independent superpower anymore?!?!?!? What if Notre Dame says no this time? Also, having a cell phone will allow you to take as many as one more delivery runs per hour!

Me: This is 2011, who doesn't have a cell phone? Also, if ND says no this time and the move is definitely to 16 team super conferences then they are a bunch of ignorant dicks and deserve to get left out in the cold. Finally, if the Big Ten fails to land ND or another Big Fish, I think the Big Ten should really just stay at 12 teams even if it means being the only "Big Boy" with 12 teams. A four team addition of Pitt, Syracuse, Rutgers and Missouri just doesn't sound that appealing to me. In any given year two of those four schools might not win the MAC. No ND == Big Ten Expansion Fail.

Teammates: How dare you call Charlie Weis an ignorant dick?!?!?

Me: He..uh..

Teammates:Who's got that phone team?!?!??!

Me: I'll get that phone teammates!