The doorbell rings, Kirk Ferentz sets down his drink and pauses his VHS copy of Remo Williams:The Adventure Begins as he walks to the door. He opens the door and there stands Mark Dantonio. They shake hands, each trying to squeeze the other's hand more firmly and Ferentz invites him in. Ferentz invites Dantonio into the study, leatherbound copies of books like "What Color is Your Parachute?" and "Who Moved My Cheese?" line the walls. He motions for Mark to sit. Mark begins to sit and Ferentz says "AH! I did not say Simon Says."
Remo Williams'ed!
Ferentz pours himself a drink and then offers one to Dantonio. Dantonio accepts then Ferentz yells "NO DRINKING IN OUR HOUSE!". Ferentz throws the highballs against the walls and they smash littering glass all over all the room. "Remo Williams'ed!" Ferentz draws his gaze slowly to Dantonio and says "Do you know why I've invited you here tonight Mark?" Dantonio sensing mortal danger, quietly replies "No." Ferentz says, "Us Iowa fans hate you Mark Dantonio, Remo Williams hates you Mark Dantonio, do you know why we hate you Mark Dantonio?" Dantonio replies with the glare, but says nothing.
"Mark, you're here because you sir are a hypocrite. You claim to not poach other team's players and yet you came in and stole David Barrent right from our backyard?" Mark quietly replies, "Much like you stole Cedric Everson from ours on signing day? Or Mikail McCall last year?" Ferentz adds a shade of red and circles back around "What about letting Chris Rucker out of jail to play in the Iowa game? That's not exactly zero tolerance is it?" Mark sighs heavily and says "You're right Kirk, that was a mistake and I shouldn't have done it. Particularly since by the time he entered the game we were down 17-0. It was bad enough that I sacrificed my morals, but to sacrifice my morals and lose 37-6 was ridiculous." Ferentz leans back and and finishes his highball of scotch. He pours another and looks at Dantonio. "I think that's about it here Mark. We'll see you on the field Saturday. Let me walk you out." Ferentz finishes his drink and they walk out to the foyer.
Dantonio asks who the cab company is around Iowa City and do they have actual vehicles or do they use Chuckwagons? Ferentz replies "It's ok Mark, ole Remo, I mean uh, Kirk can give you a ride home." Together they climb in and Dantonio says "This is great, I have a copy of the Remo Williams TV show for you at the hotel, I forgot to bring it with me, now I don't have to bring it to the stadium on Saturday." Ferentz pulls up to the Motel 6 and right there are two of Iowa City's finest. Dantonio motions to them and they come over with a breathalyzer, Ferentz blows a .10, just like Rucker. Dantonio smiles and walks into the Hotel.
This blog has been getting a LOT of Iowa based traffic this week, it should be noted that I was not in favor of Rucker playing in the Iowa game last year. First offense was one thing, a second ZERO TOLERANCE offense is inexcusable. Further, I do not think drunk driving is funny. What I do think is funny is how completely up in arms much of the Iowa fanbase is about how thuggy our program is. It comes across as hating us for our freedoms.
Iowa Passing Attack vs MSU Pass Defense
Iowa QB James Vanderbeek sits in third place on the Big Ten passing efficiency list. With an 18 TD to 4 INT ratio he represents as big a pocket challenge as Russell Wilson was. Making the task easier for our defense is that he can't run like Wilson can. Last week MarQueis Gray tore apart the MSU passing defense by hitting holes in the zone. On paper, our passing defense should have this under control and as long as the D doesn't get hung out to dry again, they will.
Advantage: MSU
Iowa Rushing Attack vs MSU Rush Defense
Iowa Running Back Marcus Coker has come on strong in the past few weeks averaging 174 yards and 2 TDs a game. He also appears to be the only dude carrying the ball. Our rushing defense has been holding rushing offense 80 yards under their season average in Big Ten play. So the real question becomes "Is 95 yards and a TD going to generate enough offensive production to beat MSU?" only Dr. Jekyll and Mr Cousins can really answer that.
Advantage: MSU
MSU Passing Attack vs Iowa Pass Defense
It will come as no surprise to MSU fans that here is where I get a bit nervy about Cousins. His road performances have never been stellar and particularly not against Cover 2 type defenses. Add to that three injured tight ends and well, this starts to look a bit more frightening. Still, Dantonio took the step of closing off player access this week to encourage time for Cousins to crawl out of his own head. But still, I need to see to believe.
Advantage: Iowa
MSU Rushing Attack vs Iowa Rush Defense
This isn't your typical Iowa rushing defense with the scary D-Line and NFL LBers in it. Which makes me hopeful. Still we are ranked dead last in rushing. Which makes me sad face.
Advantage: Iowa
Overall: Iowa has lost both of it's trophy games this year and does not play Wisconsin. So I took the liberty of creating one for both of our teams. Hopefully, this will aid MSU in their quest.
MSU hasn't won at Kinnick since 1989. That's a long time, my life in 1989 consisted of eating cheetos and playing Megaman 2. The combination of Iowa's rich tradition of whipping our ass in Iowa and Cousin's road nerves do not give me confidence in winning this game, despite the fact it is winnable. So, we'll hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
MSU 17 Iowa 28.
Editor's Note: I kept accidently typing 38 instead of 28. Hope that's not a bad sign.
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